Author: Mona Klausing
A good number of our male clients (both gay and straight) are brought to therapy for the first time by their partners. Often the initial goals are to improve communications, reduce conflict, or reconnect after a period of disconnection or infidelity.
Sometimes men are ‘forced’ into therapy with the ominous-sounding threat of ‘you need to work on yourself’ by a partner threatening to leave the relationship. Neither of these scenarios is very conducive to meaningful and effective therapy if the male clients aren’t sure they want to be there in the first place or how therapy might benefit them.
Therapy can be about discussing difficult experiences, making decisions and problem-solving. It can also be about skill development – coping with stress, practicing vulnerability, understanding blind spots, learning to trust, deepening commitment, identifying values, engaging in self-exploration and cultivating resilience.
Our culture’s reliance on technology and increasingly virtual ways of relating is coming at a significant cost to interpersonal skills, including the ability to see beyond our own perspectives. We are seeing more clients who express loneliness, disconnection or a reliance on just one person in their life (often a romantic partner) to be their primary source of support. Cultural messages that focus on individuality, self-sufficiency, and grit socialize men, in particular, to be stoic and self-reliant. This can make it harder to reach out to friends, family members or colleagues to share experiences, solicit input, or socialize in meaningful ways in their personal lives.
We are invested in making space for men to find more outlets to explore the important issues and relationships in their lives. While the number of men seeking therapy is slowly starting to rise, they are still far less likely to do so than females. Yet, something that is starting to pop up more in younger men’s dating profiles is a statement about being in therapy. This appeals to some online daters who are increasingly seeking partners who can be self-reflective and expressive. Men, of any age, don’t have to be experiencing depression or suicidal thoughts to consider therapy. Getting ahead of things like stress, work/life balance, and relationship dissatisfaction, to name a few, before they take a turn for the worst is a smart move – one that demonstrates strength and emotional maturity.
We developed our EXPLORE | Men’s Social Health program with these issues in mind, particularly for men who may have never tried therapy before or who haven’t found the right fit with a therapist. If you are curious to know more, reach out to us at bit.ly/Avani-appt and we can arrange a short consultation call to see if you’d like to get started.
Additional articles & resources
Movember – 2023
How Therapy Can Help Men Manage Their Mental Health – Healthline 2022
What’s Behind the Rise of Single, Lonely Men? – Psychology Today, 2022
Why I will only Date Men Who Go to Therapy – VOX, 2020
© 2023 Avani Counseling